girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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