Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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