I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize