Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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