Betty ford says i'm here all night
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize