just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize