Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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