Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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