Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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