How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
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I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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