Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  GAY or at the very least bisexual.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Weird... you've rode him.

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  (517): I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict? (1-517): GAY or at the very least bisexual. (1-517): His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation. (517): Weird... you've rode him. http://tfl.nu/8rng
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (508) Good night (86069) Bad night (8377)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

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  (570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds? (1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 http://tfl.nu/vzb8
  Replies (109) Good night (39854) Bad night (1919)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.

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  (850): JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk. http://tfl.nu/brrf
  Replies (12) Good night (4087) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  He wasn't the only one with a full load.

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  (508): He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket... (1-508): He wasn't the only one with a full load. http://tfl.nu/y8kb
  Replies (24) Good night (6191) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.

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  (503): Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab. http://tfl.nu/if5q
  Replies (14) Good night (702) Bad night (3253) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie

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  (815): I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie http://tfl.nu/y42e
  Replies (3) Good night (1833) Bad night (1323) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?

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  (907): good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy? http://tfl.nu/iaof
  Replies (10) Good night (631) Bad night (2270) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me

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  (978): There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me http://tfl.nu/i0wj
  Replies (8) Good night (2663) Bad night (647)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.

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  (403): Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one. http://tfl.nu/ek2z
  Replies (15) Good night (2898) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit

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  (619): I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit http://tfl.nu/iywm
  Replies (8) Good night (2624) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j

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  (740): You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j http://tfl.nu/94ee
  Replies (3) Good night (520) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.

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  (951): Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water. http://tfl.nu/p40v
  Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..

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  (206): She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out.. http://tfl.nu/vlup
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.

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  (719): Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done. http://tfl.nu/9qf5
  Replies (5) Good night (945) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt

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