I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize