we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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