I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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