Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize