Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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