I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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