i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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