wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
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by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize