garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
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i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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