I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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