all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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