Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize