the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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