I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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