Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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