i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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