please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize