"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
nutella sex= disaster
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize