THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize