did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize