People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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