He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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