thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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