You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize