How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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