My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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