Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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