I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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