people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
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