You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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