this beer tastes like vomit already
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
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My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
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Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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