she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize