never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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