nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize