Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize