my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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