I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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