So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My feet surprised me
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