I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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